Tag Archives: humour

How I Wrote an Retro 80s-Inspired Adventure Game About The KLF

If you grew up in the 1980s, you’ll remember that unmistakable feeling of loading a game on your ZX Spectrum, Commodore 64, or BBC Micro. The hypnotic screech of the cassette loading, the colour bars flickering on screen, and that eternal moment of suspense — would it load this time, or had the tape stretched just enough to doom you to a R Tape Loading Error?

Loading the KLF Adventure
Loading the KLF Adventure

Fast forward to the 2020s and, somewhere between my love of retro computing, The KLF’s music, and an itch to make something creative, I decided: I’m going to write a text adventure game. Not just any text adventure, but one dripping with late-night 80s energy, pop culture references, and a healthy dose of KLF mythology.

The KLF Adventure Begins
The KLF Adventure Begins

It started innocently enough — I wanted to relive the magic of the Scott Adams-style adventures I played as a kid. Those games weren’t about graphics; they were about imagination. Every location, every object, every strange instruction was something you had to picture in your head. And if you were a bit obsessive (guilty), you’d spend hours mapping every room on graph paper.

Finding the Right Ingredients

The KLF have always been masters of mystery — their story threads through pop hits, art projects, strange performances, and burning a million pounds on a remote Scottish island. That mix of chaos, humour, and myth-making was perfect for a game world.

I started building a map: fictional places merged with real ones from KLF history. Bold Street in Liverpool. The Cavern Club in the 1960s. A boathouse with a roaring fire. And, naturally, Trancentral — the spiritual HQ of The KLF. I even included surreal locations like the “Little Fluffy Cloud Factory” and “Maze of Caves” for that dreamlike adventure feel.

Travel Back in Time to The Cavern Club in 1961
Travel Back in Time to The Cavern Club in 1961

The NPCs? Oh, they had to be special. Sigmund Freud gives cryptic instructions. Ivan Pavlov demands you “Lie Down” before telling you to “Keep Calm”. Even Denzil the Baker makes an appearance, along with other nods that KLF fans will appreciate.

Building It Like It’s 1984 — With a 2025 Twist

I didn’t just want to write about the 80s — I wanted it to feel like the 80s. So I coded the game in a modern environment but kept the old-school constraints: short descriptions, tight vocabulary, and a parser that understands commands like GO NORTH, GET TICKET, or SAY CHILLOUT.

Don't get stuck in the record industry execs meeting!!!
Don’t get stuck in the record industry execs meeting!!!

But here’s the twist — I didn’t do it alone. My coding partners were Gemini CLI and OpenAI Codex, coding with me directly in my command line. The imagery was created using ChatGPT, with animations by Midjourney. The music came courtesy of Suno, while the sound effects were crafted by ElevenLabs. Together, these AI tools became my team of coders, designers, composers, and consultants, enabling me to bring this game to life in a way that would have been impossible on my own.

And because I couldn’t resist going full retro, I’ve also been experimenting with encoding the game into audio so it can be loaded into a ZX Spectrum emulator straight from a physical cassette tape. Because why not?

Timeslips abound in Bold Street with alternate timelines showing Mick Hucknall driving the Ice Kream Van!
Timeslips abound in Bold Street with alternate timelines showing Mick Hucknall driving the Ice Kream Van!

The Result

What emerged is The KLF Adventure — part game, part interactive art piece, and part love letter to the days when imagination did the heavy lifting. It’s an 80s-inspired world you can explore, puzzle over, and get gloriously lost in. It rewards curiosity, nods knowingly to KLF lore, and might just make you say “What Time Is Love?” at least once.

For me, this wasn’t just a coding project. It was a way of reconnecting with that kid who sat cross-legged in front of a rubber-keyed Spectrum, waiting for the next adventure to begin. Only now, I’m the one writing the adventure — with a 21st-century team of AIs by my side.

You can even find me in the game... But where?
You can even find me in the game… But where?

If you fancy diving in, the game is live at klfgame.co.uk. Just remember: keep your wits about you, don’t trust every whisper, and above all… CHILLOUT. Twice.

How I Created and Published Gizmos and Gadgets in Cockney in Less Than 24 Hours

Sometimes, you have an idea so out there, you just have to run with it. That’s exactly what happened with my latest experiment—writing, editing, and publishing a book in under 24 hours. Yes, you read that right: Gizmos and Gadgets in Cockney by Matt Porter went from a concept swirling in my head to a fully published book faster than you can say “Bob’s your uncle.” Now, before you start expecting War and Peace or something that’ll win a Pulitzer, let me set the record straight: this book is meant to be a laugh. So, get that tongue planted firmly in your cheek and read on!


A Silly Idea Turned Into Reality

I’ve always loved Cockney rhyming slang. There’s something so playful and creative about it, and being a tech nerd, I thought, “Why not merge the two?” With that spark of inspiration and a challenge I set for myself, the idea was born: a humorous book that reimagines the world of tech with Cockney flair. Gizmos and Gadgets in Cockney would be a light, fun read for anyone who’s ever wondered what you’d call a smartphone (a “dog”) or a smart speaker (a “chirper”) in the East End’s colourful lingo.

But then I upped the stakes: I decided to see if I could write, edit, and publish the whole thing in less than 24 hours. Why? Because life’s too short not to try ridiculous things.

How I Created and Published Gizmos and Gadgets in Cockney in Less Than 24 Hours
You can buy and read Gizmos and Gadgets in Cockney right now and very soon in physical paperback at https://amzn.to/40QzUnI

Don’t Expect High Art—This Is Pure, Unfiltered Fun

Let’s be clear: you’re not about to read a literary masterpiece. This isn’t War and Peace or The Great Gatsby. It’s more like a mate telling you stories down the pub, but instead of talking about football, I’m rambling about gadgets and tech in Cockney slang. This book was written fast, with lots of tea, laughter, and a “who-cares-if-it’s-not-perfect” attitude. If you’re looking for a deep exploration of tech or a polished manual, you might be barking up the wrong tree.

But if you’re after a book that doesn’t take itself seriously, one that pokes fun at tech jargon while teaching you some cheeky Cockney phrases, this might be your cup of rosie-lee.

The Writing Process: Fuelled by Tea and Banter

Once the idea hit me, I got to work with one goal: get it done before the clock ran out. I wrote chapter after chapter, each filled with witty slang, light-hearted anecdotes, and ridiculous comparisons between tech gadgets and everyday London life. Need to know why Wi-Fi is like a “Skyhook” or why a computer’s operating system is the “Guv’nor”? I’ve got you covered.

To keep it fun and breezy, I didn’t worry too much about polishing every sentence. It was all about the charm, the humour, and the Cockney twist. The result? A book that feels like a good ol’ natter with a mate—unpolished, maybe a bit rough around the edges, but full of character.

Editing and Formatting: It’s Good Enough

I gave the manuscript a quick once-over (yes, quick), fixing the obvious typos and ensuring the Cockney slang made sense. But did I spend hours agonising over sentence structure or tweaking every paragraph? Absolutely not. This was about speed and spirit, not perfection. Think of it like street food: messy, but oh-so-satisfying.

I also threw in a handy Cockney slang glossary at the end, so you can brush up on your rhyming slang while giggling at the tech comparisons.

The Cover: Simple, Bold, and Straight to the Point

When you’ve only got 24 hours, you don’t spend ages designing a cover that rivals The Da Vinci Code. I kept it simple and bold, with the title front and centre: Gizmos and Gadgets in Cockney by Matt Porter. The cover hints at the humour inside without giving too much away—exactly how I like it.

Publishing: The Final Countdown

With just minutes to spare, I uploaded the book to the publishing platform, hit “Publish,” and breathed a sigh of relief. I did it! A fully published book in less than a day.

Why I Did It

Let’s face it, we all overthink things sometimes. This project was a reminder to embrace spontaneity, take risks, and have fun with creativity. You don’t always need months of preparation or endless rewrites to make something worth sharing. Sometimes, done is better than perfect.

Gizmos and Gadgets in Cockney isn’t meant to change your life, but it just might make you chuckle, and that’s good enough for me.

What to Expect When You Read It

  • Lots of laughs: If you’ve ever struggled to explain tech to your nan or been baffled by a new gadget, you’ll feel right at home.
  • Cockney charm: From “whirligigs” to “dog and bones,” the slang is in full force.
  • Zero seriousness: This book is pure entertainment, so don’t come looking for an academic breakdown of microchips.

Final Thoughts: Take It with a Pinch of Salt (and a cup of ‘rosie’)

If you’re the kind of reader who enjoys a bit of banter, a bit of tech, and a whole lot of Cockney rhyming slang, this book is for you. But remember: it’s all in good fun. Don’t take it too seriously—just sit back, grab a cuppa, and enjoy the ride.

So, there you have it. My little 24-hour experiment, wrapped up and ready for you to enjoy. Gizmos and Gadgets in Cockney is out now on Kindle and will be available very soon in paperback (As soon as I have approved the… Proof), and I hope it brings you as many laughs reading it as I had writing it.

Cheers,
Matt Porter
February 2025


📚 Want a bit of tech banter with a Cockney twist? Grab your copy of Gizmos and Gadgets in Cockney on Kindle now, and don’t forget to keep that tongue firmly in cheek.